Saying good bye is the hardest thing to do.

Gasping, the head of a large Alaskan tundra wolf shot up his eyes were wide open and filled with pain and sorrow.  Another dream....Even after all this time she haunts them... It's a nightmare because every time I get close to being near her.. I wake up


Heaving a sigh, the male stood and looked out of his makeshift den before climbing out, his eyes instantly went to the sky and judged it a pretty day despite the sky being clouded with dark clouds signaling it would snow again. The ground below foot was coated in a cold white blanket.  Releasing a rush of air, his breathe was easily seen in the icy air.  Sitting down, he wrapped his bushy tail over his paws and  hung his head low as he did every morning.

]Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do, saying goodbye means walking away and walking away means forgetting who and what you are along with your past..  that's just it, I don't want to forget, I want to remember all the good things her voice, her breathe, her scent, her eyes...

The male's eyes clouded over has he became captive to his thoughts, he no longer heard anything around him and it was as if the world was paused, his sides moved faintly, showing his breathing was calm and he was relaxed.

She was so beautiful... why did it have to be her? her voice... it still rings in my ears, it feels good against my eardrums, but I cannot stand it, it tears at my heart strings and makes me it's puppet... I am captive inside my own body, I am a alone no matter who surrounds me.

Blinking his eyes open he took in the land around him and he stood up and started off, his movements were slow and choppy.

I will never forget he thought deeply.




Colors:
Dreamsthoughts

Storm, being the wierd wolf she was, was roaming her pack friends lands. Why not get used to them if your going to be protecting them. Thats how she heard the voice. One of fear yet sadness. She knew what that was, she had had the same on when she had dreams of her family being killed. Sighing, she followed the voice. Her eyes then layed upon a male. He was white and grey. Cocking her head slightly, she watched him.

¿Hombre lobo? ¿Estás bien? She said, speaking in her native language. She was fluent in many languages, but she always went back to Spanish.

Addressed: Vance
Mentioned: Vance
FootNotes:

Spanish:

Hombre lobo ? Estás bien?-Means- Male wolf? are you okay?

'¿Hombre lobo? ¿Estás bien?'


Huh?... Did I hear something? the strange words tickled his ears and snapped him back to reality, confusion flooded over the male as he tilted his head. He wasn't quite sure if the fae had spoke to him or what exactly she had said. Thinking it to be rude if he did not respond to the fae, he opened his mouth and spoke.


"Greetings. I'm sorry to say, but I haven't a clue to what you said or even if you were speaking to me." he stood from his spot and dipped his head apologetically. His ears swiveling forwards then backwards then pinned themselves against his skull, his eyes were a deep honey brown that reflected the light rather well.

The female shook her head to snap out of her native ness. Of course he didn't understand,he was English after all. Ohh I'm sorry. I said male wolf are you okay? She said, mentally smacking herself on the head. Her plump frame shifted and sat in front of the new male, as she watched him carefully.

He narrowed his gaze and shifted uncomfortably. Shes pregnant, taking a few steps away he took a seat on the ground again. Eyes angling on you, he had heard and understood what you said this time, but the sight of your belly seemed to make him slightly more uncomfortable.

They would have been a year and a few months old.... My little Rose.. Dante... Vladmir..... his eyes clouded over and his head lowered to the ground, hunching his back, before he spoke.

"Nothing is the matter therefor I am okay.. Why do you ask?... Who are you? sitting up straight, he looked at you, his tail wrapping around neatly, resting on his paws.

She shook her head. Aye mi querido amigo hay algo que molesta. She muttered. She looked up. Because there's something bothering you. And I never speak mi llama first amigo. You go first. She said, speaking Spanglish to the man.

He turned his muzzle away. "Nothing is bothering me and I implore that you speak English, I do not understand exactly what you are saying.

Rolling his shoulders, the male turned his muzzle back to face you. His eyes were dark and now shielded, despite his heart strings being yanked at by being close to another fae that was pregnant. Images of his love and his pups flashed through his head.

"As for my name, I'm called Vance, I'm a knight of sterling pack.. Now, who are you? you have the scent of a loner" twitching his whiskers, he kept his eyes on you unsure of you or what you were capable of. He preferred not getting into a fight and therefor used a soft voice.

Storm looked at him. I can't help it friend, but I will do my very best. As for names I am Sr, outside protector of Sterling pack. You must be one of Seren's knights therefore, I will not be rude of any sorts to you. The female spoke quietly and softly. She was relaxed, sure that the male wouldn't hurt her in any ways. And if he would she would defend her family.

How can she be so relaxed? she doesn't know me, she doesn't know if I will attack her or what I'm thinking....... I could be like Malace, I could easily tear her throat out... I'm jaded enough...But my heart would never let me, it would never let me forget the fact that I killed a fae and her unborn pups

Rolling his shoulders again, he stiffened faintly. Outside protector? what does that mean... Scoffing the male twitched his nose and tilted it to the sky as a chilly breeze picked up and ruffled his fur, a smile forming on his mouth.

"I suppose that I should say thank you, am I right?... his eyes were sealed shut and his breathing was calm as he tasted the air, the icy air seemed to calm his frayed nerves.. "Also, I should say it's a pleasure to meet you, but in reality, meeting other wolves or being around them it's a pleasure at all, it only makes me feel more distant

Falling silent he lowered his head, eyes still sealed shut. You really shouldn't be so mean it will no bring a stop to the pain you feel inside you, you should confide in others, you shou- never! No one needs to know my business........ his mind began to wander as he continued to think Zahra and the pups will never return, if only you had been there you could have stopped their deaths, you could have saved them! It's your fault

Sighing the male shook his head and opened his eyes. "Why do you wish to protect a pack?"

Storm shook her head. No, no gracias. She mumbled quietly. I don't like others much either. I shut them out, like how I will most likely do to most of you pack wolves later. And why? Because it gives me something to do. A job of sorts and I don't have to be of a pack. I can be free. She said, looking at a bird in the distance. Why be of a pack. All it is is rules. She spoke slowly.

Why be in a pack? well the answer to that is simple he thought.

Clearing his throat, he tilted his head. "Because, it's all I've known, there may be rules that are sometimes hard to understand the reason for them, but in the end it's worth it... Even if being other wolves is hard"

Storm grunted. Yo me puse como manadas de lobos. I don't like wolf packs. Or any pack at that. She said, her tail gently thumping. She stopped it and put it over her paws. Her blue gaze went over to the woods.

She doesn't understand, did you expect her to? no.. no one would.

His tail lashed to the side and he shrugged his shoulders. " Then I ask again, why do you act as a protector if you hate packs?" his eyes narrowed faintly.

Grunting, she said, I told you. I'd kill myself if I had to stay with kids again for longer than twelve hours at a time. I have to have something to do. Dios. she said, sighing.

At this, he felt a rush of anger push itself through his body and he couldn't help but snap.

"YOU MUST BE BLOODY MAD!" he snarled and jumped to his paws, his eyes were narrowed, anger showing in them. " How could you say such a thing? You shouldn't be allowed to have pups! You will regret saying those words one day, when your pups are all grown up and have their own lives, you will regret those words once you lay your eyes on them"

The male struggled to keep himself calm as another snarl pushed it's way out of his throat. "Pups are a blessing and you should be grateful it was bestowed on you, you are lucky you still have the chance to have pups as well as have your mate beside you." Turning his back to you, he shook his head side to side in anger

She slowly stood up, her fur bristling. I'm bloody mad eh? Dios! She screamed. This makes my fourth batch. Do you think that I do not know what to expect? I do. I could possibly die from this. What does that mean for the pups and my mate. Mi amar. Mi corazon. she said.

How could this fae be so blind? a low whimper emitted from the brute as he slumped down in the snow all of his energy drained from his body, his eyes remained open as he stared off into the distance. Ears flat against his skull his mind swirled with different emotions; rage, sorrow, hate, anger, and love.. Images of his pups flashed in his head and he let another whine.

"Im sorry, I'm so sorry I couldn't save you" he muttered in a low voice, "it's my fault your gone and......." he paused in his words realizing he was speaking aloud, looking over his shoulder he gazed at you, grief now flooding off of him

"I apologize for my out burst..."

She was still bristling when he spoke. Dios este lobo es una locura ! ¿Qué está mal con él?! She muttered to herself as the wolf then looked back. She could feel the grief, the sorrow. Then he spoke.

Just, if you feel like doing that again, don't take it out on me. I did nothing for you to do that. She said, slowly yet harshly.

"Why do you have to say that though? why? you should love your pups not want to be away from them" He sighed and rested his head on the ground, atop his paws.

I'll always protect you he thought. Even if I cannot reach you.. heaving a sigh, he looked over to you.

"I apologize for my out burst, I do not wish to have confrontation with anyone"

You may have been a father, but i am a mother. I have to deal with them for a long period of time without anyone. That is why i say this. The female said, glaring at him slightly. And its okay...

He turned and faced you, his eyes revealing nothing. "Yes, but there is a difference between you and me, I would rather die then not be with my pups every waking moment.. my pups? they are gone, I can never seen them again nor can I see the my love any more." his voice was flat and monotone.

Lashing his tail back and forth, he tilted his muzzle to the sky. "You say you are a mother, but no mother would ever say that about their pups... never, they would want to be around them and watch them grow up, you have a chance to raise something so precious that cannot be replaced, you were given another life to look after, you shouldn't let that slip out of you paws."

Storm slowly stood up, growling and bristling. I do watch my pups grow up, i have! I know what its like to raise a small life that's life depends on me! You don't think i don't? Well take your problems and toss them elsewhere hijos! She then turned around and walked away, her head staying between her shoulders.

His eyes lowered as the fae turned and walked off, his tail drooping to the ground. never again he thought.